Asking for help

The Rev Dr Richard Frazer explains why seeking the assistance of others is a strength during challenging times.

“WHEN our people longed to hear the liberating message of the Gospel, you sent missionaries to us. Now that you are in trouble, you do not ask us for help.”

Those words are seared on my memory. They were spoken perhaps 20 years ago by a well-respected member of the Church of Scotland’s Board of World Mission at a gathering I attended. He was expressing his concern about a culture in the Church that does not seek help. Thankfully, in the years since I heard those words, we have welcomed ministers from other parts of the world to support our mission at home. That is good and refreshing.

This minister was issuing a gentle rebuke to us in the Church. The Church of Scotland has been a powerful and influential institution over the years, not only at home but also around the world. It can be hard for people and institutions that have been the ones to help others to seek help when times are tough. Maybe there is something in our culture that we need to reflect on and transform.

In our work over many years in the Grassmarket Community Project we abandoned the idea of the helper and the helped. We realised early on as our project developed, walking alongside ‘vulnerable adults’ that we are all vulnerable.

We stopped using the term ‘service-user’ and all the other labels we often attach to those on the edge of society. Instead, we just talk about people. Whether you are a skilled person offering to help in some way by volunteering or have come in off the street having experienced homelessness or some mental health crisis, you become a ‘member’ and are treated the same. We have learned that in such an environment everyone has something to offer. Everyone can help and all of us need help from time to time. The joyful thing is that we have discovered that helping and being helped is always best when it is mutual and flows in both directions.

There is an important lesson for the Church in all of this, and it is something we have learned over many years in the work we developed at Greyfriars Kirk in Edinburgh. We realised that we could not fulfil our ambitious aims if we relied solely on members of our congregation to undertake all our work.

We discovered that many people had skills and things to offer that we did not have. We also discovered that though people might not be Church members they were often well disposed towards the Church and were happy to get involved in work that helps inspire hope and build communities of wellbeing and belonging. We could not have achieved all we have if we had not looked beyond the congregation for help.

“The Church of Scotland has been a powerful and influential institution over the years, not only at home but also around the world.

There is, of course a very pertinent story in the Gospel about just this issue. The disciples come to Jesus, indignant that they have heard that someone is casting out demons in Jesus’s name and they want to stop him because he is not one of the disciples. Jesus tells them not to stop him. Anyone doing good work in his name should not be prevented, even if they are not a part of the inner circle. “Whoever is not against us is for us”, is his comment.

In a time when we face many challenges in the Church, especially to do with the resources of people to do things, we might be surprised by just how many people in our communities are willing to help if only we have both the grace and humility to ask for help. “Whoever is not against us is for us” is worth remembering in challenging times.