Healing brokenness

Jackie Macadam learns about the work of mental health charity, Kintsugi Hope.

“SOMETIMES beauty can be found in brokenness.”

Bec Raynes is Head of Network Development and Scotland Lead for the mental health charity, Kintsugi Hope. She is based in Inverness.

Established six years ago in Essex, it is now a UK-wide charity, taking its name from the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold-infused glue, creating an attractive and practical repair that is still valuable, useful – and has its own unique beauty.

“We partner with churches and other Christian organisations to give people a safe and supportive place where they can come and explore topics which affect our mental and emotional wellbeing, and help all of us discover tools that will help us deal with life’s stresses,” says Bec.

“It’s important to say that Kintsugi Hope Wellbeing Groups are not just for those who are in a crisis, but for anyone who wants to help themselves deal with the normal pressures of life in a more effective way. The Wellbeing Groups cover a range of topics over twelve weeks, such as honesty, anxiety, depression, disappointment and loss, and shame,” she explained. “Kintsugi Hope, though we partner with churches, is not exclusively for Christians – it is for anyone who wants to use it, whether they have a faith – any faith – or none. We don’t preach.

“In addition to our Wellbeing Groups, Kintsugi Hope offers training to help churches consider how to welcome those who are struggling with mental ill-health. There is still such a stigma, such shame, about admitting or recognising that you have a mental health problem, and yet it is such a common issue to have. Mental Health Friendly Church training seeks to encourage compassion, increase understanding and help to break stigma.”

The Rev Tommy MacNeil, Convenor of the Faith Action Programme Leadership Team, and minister at Stornoway: Martin’s Memorial, is including Kintsugi Hope in its outreach project, The Shed. The Shed is a purpose-built facility which runs community-based services. The project’s vision is to provide a place of belonging, support and encouragement for anyone who comes in, thanks to the numerous clubs and services provided that are tailored to a everyone from young people to pensioners.

Tommy explained: “I’ve discovered in life and in ministry that the best human resources come out of human experiences.” He said: “This shouldn’t be a surprise to us as people who take an incarnational approach to what we do.

“We, at times, speak of the dreams and aspirations we want for our children. As we do, it’s rightly only positive things we speak about. It’s quite something that 600 to 700 years before He came to earth, it was prophesied concerning Jesus that He would be ‘despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering’ (Isaiah 53v3). None of us would want that for our children, yet it was God’s will for His own Son. This was deliberate on God’s part.

“So when we are despised and rejected, when we know sorrow and suffering, we can come to Jesus and He knows what we’re feeling and what healing we need.

“This is the power and blessing of Kintsugi Hope.”

He adds: “Patrick and Diane Regan, founders of the charity, had their own journey of pain, sorrow, sadness, and loss. They live by the philosophy that honesty breeds honesty which comes powerfully through the books they have written (including When Faith Gets Shaken, Bouncing Forwards, Honesty over Silence) and through the Kintsugi Hope Wellbeing Group programme.

“As a church we’re meant to be all about truth and honesty, yet when it comes to our own pain, our own wounds, and scars, we will often go to extreme lengths to cover them up and hide them from others. We’re fearful people might think less of is if they knew our pain and the reason behind it. This is not a healthy way to live and it’s not God’s best for us.

“I heard one time that ‘The church is a hospital for the sick, it’s not a museum for the saint’. The fact is we’re all wounded healers and our healing is ongoing. As C S Lewis put it ‘Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ This is the kind of friendship, the kind of community we need to encourage and cultivate in our churches. Kintsugi Hope and their resources will help us all journey towards healing and wholeness in body, mind, soul, and spirit. That is God’s desire, God’s best for us.”

Dawn Cunningham is a Kintsugi Hope Group Leader from Avendale Old Parish Church and Kirkton Parish Church. She sets up the Wellbeing Groups when a church asks for help.

“I witnessed the incredible difference it made to someone I knew and loved who had gone through trauma and loss and was left fearful, anxious and broken,” she explained.

“With Kintsugi Hope’s help, she grew to be a strong, capable and confident woman, sure of who she was. I knew people in my church community who would benefit from joining a wellbeing group and so I joined Kintsugi with the support of my church.

“I have learned as a group leader is that you don’t have to be ‘broken’ to attend a group. All of us have things in our lives, whether it be anxiety, stress, fractured relationships, loss, loneliness, depression or lack of confidence, and have experiences which we bury or find difficult to share.

I believe Kintsugi Hope Wellbeing Groups offer a safe, supportive way of helping everyone explore and strengthen their emotional wellbeing.

“As a group leader it is both humbling and uplifting for me to see the positive changes in people as they journey through the course.

“People join Kintsugi Wellbeing groups for many reasons, some don’t even know if it is right for them, but in that safe space each person discovers the treasures in their scars.

“We serve three separate communities totalling a population of around 20,000.

The area has a mixed economy, with pockets of high deprivation.”

The Rev Fiona Lister is a minister in Aberdeen. Her church, Aberdeen North, has partnered with Kintsugi Hope to offer a Youth Wellbeing Group in their local senior school.

She says: “We contribute to the chaplaincy team at Northfield Academy and, through discussions with the staffthere, have identified that there are pupils who are currently attending but are showing early signs of struggling within the school. The school is committed to working with community partners to improve the school experience and eventual outcomes of the pupils.”

She adds: “Much of this work is, quite rightly, focused on those with the greatest immediate need. But there is a layer of pupils who are sitting quietly in class, silently struggling. Not yet acting out – but at risk of falling through the cracks.

“This is an issue which the senior management team are more than aware of and were delighted when we approached them with the idea of running Kintsugi Hope Youth with a selection of pupils who are at risk of being lost in the system.

“We are currently still in the planning stages, with the aim that an initial group will run before Easter, led by me and Jay Thomas (church and community worker) who have been trained by Kintsugi Hope. “We have both been impressed with the way in which the training covers such a breadth of learning styles, allowing us to build a course which suits the needs of the young people. We hope to build relationships with pupils, allowing us to improve pastoral care within the school.” ¤

You can find out more about Kintsugi Hope at www.kintsugihope.com and contact Bec on Rebecca.raynes@kintsugihope.com