The true measure of fatherhood

In the month of celebration of dads, Thomas Baldwin considers the example of the fathers of the Bible.

AS secular celebrations of parenthood, both Mother’s and Father’s Days originated in the early 20th century, their popularity driven as much by commercial interests as anything else.

Yet Father’s Day is often regarded, in the UK at least, as the poor relation to Mother’s Day, or even derided as an invention of greetings card companies.

That may be because Mother’s Day is given a degree of credibility and religious cachet by being marked on the ancient feast of Mothering Sunday, which goes back to medieval times – even if it originally had more to do with celebrating the ‘Mother Church’ than the female parent.

An appropriately religious day for Father’s Day is available: for centuries, Roman Catholic countries in Europe have celebrated fatherhood on March 19, St Joseph’s Day. But that never caught on in Britain, and instead we imported the American celebration on the third Sunday of June, which has no such venerable heritage.

It may surprise you, however, to know that Father’s Day did originate as a religious occasion.

The day was first proposed in 1909 by Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, in celebration of her father, William, a Civil War veteran who had raised six children as a single parent.

“You can’t deny that many of the flawed but (usually) faithful characters in the Old Testament have a patchy record when it comes to fatherhood.

The American celebration of Mother’s Day (May 10) had been around for a few years by then, and Sonora thought fathers should be similarly honoured. She proposed William’s birthday, June 5, but local pastors said that did not give them enough time to prepare their sermons on the subject.

After a slow start, the day caught on and it was finally declared a national holiday by President Richard Nixon in 1972. Many other countries around the world have also adopted the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, although it is by no means universal: some countries follow the Catholic tradition, while some celebrate on the Eastern Orthodox St Joseph’s Day, December 26.

Others have chosen dates marking significant national events: Kazakhstan celebrates fathers on Defender of the Fatherland Day (May 7), Thailand on the birthday of the late King Bhumibol Adulyadej (December 5), Denmark on Constitution Day (June 5).

Brazil marks Father’s Day on the second Sunday in August, Australia and New Zealand on the first Sunday of September, Indonesia on November 12, Israel on 30 Shevat, the 11th month of the Hebrew calendar (usually January-February by the Gregorian calendar). Of course, Father’s Day has long since moved away from its religious roots and is now mostly a day for giving presents or spending time with our fathers and paternal figures in our lives. But that doesn’t mean we can’t look to the scriptures for inspiring examples of fatherhood – or, sometimes, examples of how not to do it.

You can’t deny that many of the flawed but (usually) faithful characters in the Old Testament have a patchy record when it comes to fatherhood. Abraham gets ten out of ten for faith and obedience, but is unlikely to be winning any father of the year awards for his treatment of Isaac and Ishmael. Isaac himself shows favouritism to one of his sons over the other. King David has 21 sons (and an unknown number of daughters) by multiple wives; he fails to intervene when one of his sons rapes his half-sister. Noah is mostly depicted as a faithful, hardworking man, protective of his family, but after his youngest son Ham sees him naked he curses Ham’s son, Canaan. And probably the less said about Lot and his daughters, the better.

More positively, Job is shown as a good family man, who maintains his belief in God even in the face of the most appalling suffering. Having lost his first family, his faith is rewarded when he is blessed with another 10 children.

Faith is also rewarded in the New Testament: when Jairus, the Synagogue leader, believes his daughter has died, and yet continues to trust in Jesus even when he is told to stop bothering him. His persistence is vindicated when Jesus raises the child from the dead.

Ironically, but appropriately in these days of ‘blended families’ and the ‘found family’ literary trope, the best example of fatherhood in the Bible wasn’t even his son’s biological dad: Joseph, earthly father of Jesus, the man on whose day some countries celebrate Father’s Day.

Joseph could so easily have abandoned his betrothed when she became pregnant, and not by him. The initial upset, anger and humiliation must have been overwhelming. Instead, based on nothing more than a dream of an angel, he took on the role of father to the baby. He risked considerable damage to his own reputation, and later his life, if Herod’s soldiers had found them. He even ended up having to go into exile in a foreign country for the sake of this child. And the trouble doesn’t end there: Joseph is last seen in the Bible displaying remarkable forbearance when the 12-yearold Jesus gives him and Mary an almighty scare by staying behind in the temple, delaying their journey home by several days. Anyone who has lost sight of their child for a few seconds in a crowded place can surely empathise with the terror they must have felt as they returned to Jerusalem and desperately searched the city. The questioning of Jesus when they finally found him seems mild in proportion to the fright he had given them!

Joseph is presumed to have died sometime between then and the start of Jesus’ ministry, but we can see his legacy. In Mark 6:3 Jesus is described as a carpenter, a trade he has obviously learned from Joseph. You can maybe see it, too, in Jesus’ ease with people from all walks of life, and in his choosing humble fishermen as his disciples.

Perhaps Joseph is a reminder, this Father’s Day, that it is actions rather than genetics that are the true measure of fatherhood.