Being intergenerational church

Suzi Farrant and Darren Philip focus on the importance of intentionality in developing a Church which embraces all generations.

LAST month we considered what being intergenerational church is all about, recognising that for many of us our expression of church is currently monogenerational, age segregated or multigenerational.

We suggested that an intergenerational church is one that “intentionally brings the generations together in mutual serving, sharing or learning within the core activities of the church in order to live out being the body of Christ to each other and the greater community”. This month we consider in more depth what it means to be intentional in our journey of transforming our congregations into communities of belonging for all, paying particular attention to the practices of humility and hospitality.

Following the lead of German theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and beginning with the ‘who’ questions of ‘who is Christ?’, ‘who am I?’ and ‘who are we?’, we discover that Christ is concretely present in the relationships of church-community. It is in relationship, as we encounter the personhood of another, that our own personhood is realised, for it is in that moment that we encounter Christ. When we recognise this, the role of ministry becomes, as theologian and author Andrew Root suggests, tending to a congregation’s relationships.

Bonhoeffer describes this sort of relationship as “place-sharing”. Placesharing relationships cannot be created, for they are the outworking of the transforming work of the Spirit, but they can be intentionally curated if we begin with a posture of humility. From a posture of humility, we recognise the personhood of young people, indeed of all people, seeing them not as things to be moulded to our own ends, but as children of God to be unfolded through relationship and encounter with Christ.

Humility is both a posture and a practice; as we intentionally pursue togetherness through an attitude of humility, we will find ourselves letting go of those things that we have perhaps until now deemed too important to be tampered with. Our desires for things to be done our way stem from a place of power and privilege and, when we are honest, from considering ourselves as better than others.

So, it is through being in relationship and recognising each other’s personhood that we realise we shouldn’t be trying to change people so that they fit in with our ways of doing things, or trying to create a community of mini-mes so that everything will run in a nice neat and tidy manner. It is as we let go of some of our current practices, relinquishing power to others, particularly those that have been on the margins of our communities, that we curate the spaces where Christ can be encountered not just by ourselves, but by those we have perhaps excluded. It is as we let go of our worldly view of success, recognising that success in the churchcommunity is not about bigger, better, more, but rather about being faithful to God’s call, that we are freed from cultural pressures and able to live into the wholeness that comes only from God.

Intentionally making spaces for deep connections to be curated across the generations requires all ages to approach being church-community from a posture of humility. This is not an argument for older generations to let go of everything they know and hold dear in order to appease the younger generations. Rather, it is a call to share in each other’s personhood, such that we encounter and are transformed by Christ, so that we no longer desire our own way but Christ’s. Our own preferences for musical styles in worship pale into insignificance as we focus instead on enabling each other to offer all that we are in worship to God. Our own sense of entitlement or grasp on power when it comes to making decisions diminishes as we focus instead on enabling each other to serve God through using our gifts and sharing wisdom.

Developing a posture and practice of humility means letting go of our need for self-justification, resting in the knowledge that we are all children of God, and so intentionally opening ourselves to others. Through such encounters with the personhood of others we meet and are transformed by Christ, as individuals and as church-community.

So many of our current practices with children and young people arise unintentionally from a position of fear: fear that children will be disruptive, fear that they will be bored, fear that we are not ‘youthful’ enough to effectively engage a younger generation. Similar fears exist the other way around: some children and young people fear they will not be listened to, fear they won’t have anything to offer, fear they won’t be able to play their full part. Without realising it, we have become fearful strangers of generations different to our own. From a posture of humility, the practice of hospitality allows us to transform this fear of the other into love of the other. It is this mindset of love which enables us to be intentional in bringing the generations together in relationship.

In many congregations, ‘hospitality’ is currently understood to consist of a cup of tea or coffee offered before or, more typically, after a service of worship. This is often viewed as an ‘optional extra’ in which people are encouraged to take part, though many do not. If we are to be more intentional in fostering intergenerational relationships, we need to bring about a culture change within our congregations which views the practice of hospitality as integral to our worship and life together as church-community, not an optional add-on. What this looks like will vary from context to context. It may include the incorporation of a time of sharing of food and drink within gathered times of worship, with all ages invited and enabled to play the roles of both host and hosted. Where the provision of food and drink is not possible, a hospitable space can still be created by allowing intentional time for relating and conversation between generations. This may mean a reconfiguration of the seating arrangements in our worship space so that people can face one another or move about more freely.

Intentionally making room for all ages to offer and receive hospitality to and from one another, without any agenda or expectations in return, not only builds the relational bonds of the church-community, but creates a sense of togetherness and shared purpose. More than that, it is a missional endeavour as the offer of hospitality is extended ever more widely beyond the existing membership of the church-community. Developing a culture and practice of hospitality enables disciples, young and old, to practice the presence of Christ through sharing the place of those whom they encounter in all walks of life.

Moving from thinking in terms of ‘adults’ and ‘children’ to imagining intergenerational church-community will undoubtably be hard for us adults due to the privileged position we have become accustomed to. Intentionally letting go of our privilege and power, and adopting the postures and practices of humility and hospitality may be painful. Yet the rewards far outnumber the costs, for it is about becoming the intergenerational churchcommunity we are called to be, becoming whole and having life in all its fulness. ¤

‘Being Intergenerational Church’ will be published in the autumn by Saint Andrew Press.