Children and Communion

A WHILE back I went to Iona with a group of children for a Children’s Assembly. We spent time together, playing, learning and worshipping. Then on our last day, we had communion. The children were allowed to take some of the baskets of bread and some of the baskets of grapes (we were using grapes to represent wine, which seemed very reasonable and practical) and take them round the hushed congregation.

They obediently stood at the end of the rows, passing the plates and moving on to the next row. None of them abused the privilege of taking part in communion with the church and all of them ate their piece of bread and their grape with a solemn attitude towards it. They all knew this was special and none of them was willing to put a foot out of place and treat it as any less than respectful. For years there has been some resistance to having children actively participate in the communion of the church.

But some churches have felt that this is perhaps open to interpretation – and that children should be able to participate more fully in the life of their church. A new resource for congregations, Together At The Table, was produced recently by the Church of Scotland’s former Mission and Discipleship Council, now Faith Nurture, for congregations to address questions about this.

Isobel Booth-Clibborn, Children’s Development Worker with Faith Nurture explains: “The booklet has been developed as a resource to help congregations gain a deeper understanding of Holy Communion in the reformed tradition, to review and explore our practice in relation to communion, and suggest ways in which we might welcome and include children, young people and their families to this sacrament.”

“The booklet explores the theological background to including children and young people in communion and the place of baptism. There are specific questions for a Kirk Session to use to review the practice of communion in local congregations. There are also ideas to help plan a Holy Communion service that encourages the active participation and engagement of people of all ages, as well as guidance on how to prepare and teach people about Holy Communion.” Some churches though, have already included children in their Communion services and have been generally delighted with the results.

Aberdeen: St Columba’s Bridge of Don

The Rev Louis Kinsey, minister at Aberdeen: St Columba’s Bridge of Don said his church tackled this issue and asked some serious questions.

He explained: “We are blessed with an encouraging number of children in the congregation of St Columba’s Church, on the northern edge of the city of Aberdeen, and we’ve long recognised our responsibility to disciple the children God has given us. A key element of this is participation in the Lord’s Supper.

“For a long time we knew that we weren’t involving children at the Lord’s Table as we wanted. We were unsure about how to involve our children properly. The Church of Scotland opens the Lord’s Table to baptised people who love the Lord and who are able to respond in faith to the invitation to ‘take, eat.’ But that can sometimes be difficult to discern in the lives of children, and who should do the discerning?

“The minister? Should the elders police the Lord’s Table and to quiz children about the degree to which they are genuinely able to respond in faith?

“That led us to other questions of ‘eligibility’. “What about the children of Baptist parents, who belong to the congregation but who remain committed to the practice of believer’s baptism? What about children who love Sunday School and who love the Lord Jesus, brought to the church by foster carers? And why does the communion practice of the Church seem so adult-centric when the Passover, from which the Lord’s Supper was instituted, so clearly included children as participants?

“Those were some of our theological and biblical concerns, and these are our children. We are surrounded by young children with a very obvious and age-appropriate love for the Lord Jesus, and not all of them are baptised. “When this matter was raised at the General Assembly in 2018 – the question of whether or not children must be baptised before taking Communion, regardless of any love they might declare for the Lord Jesus – the Theological Forum affirmed the normal order of things. It said that the usual order for the Christian development of children in the Church should be baptism, followed by confirmation and communion. However, the Theological Forum persuaded the General Assembly that Kirk Sessions can be flexible if pastoral reasons necessitated.

“Congregations could decide for themselves which children were ready to take communion. There was no need to feel straitjacketed by having to ensure that all boxes have been ticked before we permit children to take the elements of bread and wine.

“We were now able to include children at the Lord’s Table in a way that acknowledged the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of unbaptised children whilst, at the same time, taking all steps open to us to encourage baptism, and the normal order of things. “We decided to formalise our policy as a guide to help us and any others who wanted it. “Our ‘Policy For The Inclusion Of Children At Communion’ is focussed around five specific points.

“We recognised that parents are the key disciplers of children, and are better able than elders to decide if their children love the Lord Jesus, age-appropriately. The Kirk Session delegated that responsibility to parents, trusting them with it.

“Whilst including unbaptised children at the Lord’s Table, we encourage parents to lead them towards baptism.

“Our children, baptised and unbaptised, are now present at every celebration of the Lord’s Supper – a key discipleship training moment in their lives. Liturgical language is made as accessible as possible.

“Children sit in family groups and learn how to share the Lord’s Supper through parental example.

“Children in the care of foster parents or guardians, who wish to share the Lord’s Supper, and who are able to demonstrate an age-appropriate love for the Lord Jesus, will be allowed to do so once the necessary permission has been sought from the parents or the social worker, through the foster parent.”

Louis explains: “Our new policy was given in draft form to elders, parents and Sunday School volunteers before being unanimously approved at a congregational meeting. The effect on the life of the congregation has been hugely positive. Disciples of all ages are now included and involved at the Lord’s Table. Many conversations have been opened up. The faith of our children has been nurtured and developed, as participation in the Lord’s Supper and awareness of its importance has grown. “The first Sunday at which our new policy was implemented was very exciting,” he says, “And it was delightful to see children literally sitting on the edge of their seats, eager to listen, understand and take part.

“There is now a sense that we are a complete church family at worship, as we share communion together. Our children do not feel excluded, and nor do they wonder what the mysterious table is all about. Our inter-generational links and relationships have been strengthened, and we have been reminded that Jesus welcomes us all, whatever our age, to love and come to him. There is no age limit to reach or test to pass.”

“Disciples of all ages are now included and involved at the Lord’s Table. Many conversations have been opened up. The faith of our children has been nurtured and developed, as participation in the Lord’s Supper and awareness of its importance has grown.

Children participating in Communion

Edinburgh: Portobello and Joppa

“At Portobello and Joppa Parish Church, welcoming children into communion is beginning to feel like ‘something we’ve always done,’ however, it didn’t start out that way,” says Michelle Brown.

“I came into post as the Family Worker nearly ten years ago. We share Godly Play sessions with the children during school holidays as part of our family ministry. A couple years into post, as I shared the ‘Good Shepherd and World Communion’ story, I asked the children if they had ever been close to the table of the Good Shepherd or heard the very words of the Good Shepherd. These wonderings were met with confused, blank stares.

“Each week, the children sat in front of the communion table during the talking together time with the minister, but they had no idea what the table was for, other than for the minister to sit behind during worship. Why would they know the words Jesus said? Why would they know the meaning of this sacrament and that table? They weren’t included.

“Soon after, the Kirk Session decided that the children in primary school would be welcomed back into worship for the April Communion service. Once a year, the Sunday Stars would have a lesson on communion in the halls and then the children would come back in with the leaders to take part while the nursery school aged children would have a full Godly Play session in the halls about communion. This was our pattern for children in communion until January 2018 when we launched The Year of Young People.

“That January, I spoke in church about how important the questions and ideas of our young people are to this congregation. We value them and want to know what changes in the church they want. One seven-year-old took me quite seriously as it happened to be the January Communion Sunday when I spoke. As we went to the halls, Adele and her mum came up to me and her mum said: ‘Adele has something very important to ask you.’

“Without hesitation, Adele said: ‘Why can’t I stay in for communion? Why can’t I take it here? I took it at my last church, why am I not welcome here?’

“Why indeed! I told Adele and her mum, who had been coming to our church since the summer and so had missed the April communion, that she would be welcomed in April, along with the other primary school children, but this explanation felt hollow – Why can’t the children be there EVERY time? “In May when we asked all the children at the Have Your Say activity what they wanted for the church; a couple more asked to be welcomed into communion. Our minister, Stewart Weaver, and I then began chatting with elders and the conveners about this. Some reservations were made regarding if the children were prepared enough to receive it. Did they understand the sacrament? Would they be reverent enough in the space? Will the children who don’t want to take it be left in the halls?

“However, at an autumn session meeting, it was brought for discussion and a vote was passed without hesitation to start by welcoming in children in P3-P7 for every communion service and continue to welcome in the P1/P2 children at April. This was with the agreement that there would be more focus on preparation at Sunday Stars for the children to understand the sacrament. We were also asked to ensure that children know that they don’t have to take communion, but that they are welcome to be in worship with us and pass along the elements if they don’t feel ready to take it. The worship and communion teams worked out the details of reserved seats, timing for the beadle to get us from the halls, etc. and in January 2019, we officially began welcoming children into every communion service at PJPC.

“We are a year in now. What has been most interesting about the process is that communion has changed at PJPC as a result. We needn’t have worried about the children being reverent in the space. The children have shown a refreshing awe and wonder for the sacrament that too many of us adults had forgotten. Their joy to be included, their wide eyes to witness all that is happening around them, the way they look and listen to everything about the experience has inspired adults around them to appreciate the beauty and mystery of this sacrament that had become all too routine and regimented on a Communion Sunday.

“In the halls, we talked about using all our senses in communion. Listening to the words of the Good Shepherd that would be shared by the minister. Watching as the words of the communion hymn Brother Sister, Let Me Serve You unfolds around them with the elders serving us, us serving each other, the ministers serving the elders and the ministers receiving last by serving each other. To feel the fresh bread in your hands and smell it. Tasting the bread and the grape juice and remembering the sacrifice of Jesus as we taste and see that the Lord is Good! If you watch the children at every communion, they are doing all of this – taking the experience in – learning and understanding by inclusion. Their reverence for the sacrament has refreshed the experience and taught the adults around them.

“Of course, children also have a way of pointing out what should be obvious to all of us and challenging us to do better. At the April communion, an eight-year-old whispered to me during communion:’

I thought everyone was welcome to the table, but what about people who are gluten free? They can’t share communion. They aren’t really welcome then.’ Now our worship and education team is taking this quite seriously and experimenting with gluten free options.

“Will welcoming children into communion change how your church has ‘always done’ communion. Yes! Will it be worth it? Absolutely! Before you know it, it will be as if the children were always part of communion at your church too. Who knows, maybe one day nursery and creche aged children might get to be part of it too. I live in hope because I do believe God’s table is big enough for all of us.”

Bearsden: New Kilpatrick

The Rev Roddy Hamilton, minister at New Kilpatrick Church, Bearsden, is also an advocate of the inclusion of children.

“While the church suggests that children who wish to take communion ought to have a conversation with the minister and parents about what is involved and some of the theology behind the sacrament, is it possible to see that the experience of sharing communion is perhaps the greater insight into what communion can be and how we understand what happens?” he asks.

“Grace is not something you can explain or even understand.

“This is our premise where all our communion services are open to all ages but two each year are specifically designed to be more creative and visual so that ‘what communion is about’ is experienced.

“We create a new liturgy each time, thoroughly basing it on the traditions we have become so familiar with: the welcome, the great thanksgiving, the sanctus, the agnus dei, and so on.

“Often we begin with a ritual of setting the table where we bring the elements from around the church to the table to share. Before we do that, however, we recognise that the communion table is a place where all Jesus’ stories lead. We have taken cloths that normally cover the pews and used them to create a patchwork cloth where each piece laid on the table as a brief version of a story of Jesus is told.

“In another service we invited everyone to write their names on cards the weeks before and attached them together so that the table cloth, the surface on which the bread was broken, was all our names.

“For yet another we invited people to simply reflect on what it is we share at the table. We had done some discussion about this beforehand with children and adults and had painted those ideas onto cloth which we used to cover the table. It was very visual and kept reminding us what we were doing through the service.

“We’ve baked stories into bread: we had five loaves we had baked ourselves and within each we had baked a slip of paper with the title of a story about sharing from the bible. Children stood with me and each broke a loaf in turn, finding the story, telling it and finally myself finishing with the story of the Last Supper again baked into a loaf. “The other regular thing we do is explain the tradition as we go along, reminding people that it keeps moving and evolving. We’ve used oatcakes and shortbread both of which were used in times gone by, we have families help share the bread and wine along with elders reminding us that elders distributing bread and wine is a fairly new tradition.

“But for us, the really important thing, is make people feel welcome, that communion is a place to belong before you believe and that in engaging with the experience it feeds our faith at a deeper level.”

“Do more people come?” he asks. “Sometimes. But what always happens is that far, far more people tell you how much they have enjoyed, engaged with or felt part of something than at any other communion service.”

This article appears in the April 2020 Issue of Life and Work

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