Nurturing faith

It may be that we cannot do much about the shape of our chin, but we can surely do something about the shape of our lives.

FROM the day and hour that a child is born there is a mad rush of people ready to pass an opinion on who they “take after”. This, of course, is a reference to those strong family features which are passed down the line. Brown eyes, snub noses, high-set ears – some things in life that are a given and hereditary features is one of them.

Nowadays, there is even a range of apps for your mobile device which, in the blink of an eye, can produce an image of what you might look like in the future. One of my sons ran his picture through one of those apps which, in a few seconds, aged him by 30 years and he was left looking at a picture of me!

Of course it’s not just appearance that is inherited. Sometimes it is a great gift or a talent for which parents may be happy to take the credit, but at other times it will be a trait for which there is no excuse and no credit. Mitch Albom in his book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, says, “youth – like pristine glass absorbs the prints of its handlers”, and sometimes, it is quite disturbing to see the marks that we leave on those closest to us. Just as surely as a mirror picks up the fingerprints of those who handle it, so too, we find that those closest to us are fragile to the touch.

Nature and nurture both take their place in the forming of our make-up, our character and our personality. I wish we were better at nurture than we are. When I listen to the stories of people who have embraced the life of faith it is seldom as a result of hearing a good sermon or reading theology; most often it is through the influence of a well-balanced, kindly and inspirational figure who has been a part of their life. Conversely, those who have been switchedoff from the life of the Church are less concerned about the logic of a life of faith, but instead have been left unconvinced by the example of those who say they believe one thing, but whose life betrays their beliefs.

In the genetic lottery of life we may very well be stuck with features that we cannot change, but, it is not true to say that we are stuck with certain attitudes of mind or that we cannot change some of our troublesome character traits. An old minister friend of mine described one of his most troublesome members as a “grumpy old man”, but, he said: “He’s a grumpy old man because he was a grumpy young man!”

It may be that we cannot do much about the shape of our chin, but we can surely do something about the shape of our lives. Victor Meldrew, the star of the sitcom One Foot in the Grave, was the archetypal grumpy old man; but, no one is born like that. Heredity may relieve us of responsibility for some aspects of who we are, but it does not excuse us of the way we relate to other people or how we represent the faith we hold dear.

Paul reminds us that, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”, and he says: “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with that Spirit.” There may be a bit of a Victor Meldrew in all of us, but those traits of irritation, impatience and intolerance are not the fruit of the Spirit. What singles out the great saints of the past, Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Avila, Ignatius of Loyola and the great servants of the present is that when people ask “who they take after?” – the answer is the Carpenter of Nazareth, and under their nurturing influence people find faith.

This article appears in the February 2020 Issue of Life and Work

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