’God’s word has the power to transform lives’

“NOT long after I was called to ministry God took me back to a day when I was about five years old. I was skidding in the burn at the bottom of one of Dad’s fields, and God was smiling with the love of the father as he watched over me as I played. God knew me and loved me, even when I didn’t acknowledge him. It was an amazing blessing to be able to see that, throughout my entire life, God had watched over me waiting until the time was right to reveal his purpose for me.”

Kaye Gardiner is entering her third year of ministry studies and has offered some insight into what it takes to become a minister and how the experiences she has had have changed her and impacted on her call.

“I was born in Lanark. My dad is a farmer and so was his father and grandfather before him. I loved being brought up on the farm, I always felt secure and loved. I enjoyed the freedom of being outdoors and was very content playing on my own.

“Like many youngsters, I was baptised as a baby and attended Sunday school not because I wanted too but because mum expected me to go. I never heard a word that was said in church and spent the time daydreaming or gazing at the stained glass windows,” she says.

Kaye worked hard through school and passed her exams but was never ‘top of the class’. She struggled with English.

“I always found exams traumatic,” she says. “I never had any ambition to go to university and was happy to enrol in college to study beauty therapy.” She planned to bring her skills to her mum’s hairdressing salon.

“My treatment room in Mum’s salon was a safe place for people to come. When people got onto the beauty couch, I was privileged that they gave me full access to their lives, their joys and their sorrows.”

Even there, Kaye felt God at work within her.

“Each day I prayed that the Lord would open my eyes to let me see with his eyes, lots of people tell you they are fine but when the Lord lets you see their pain you can come alongside them. I had been through trials in my own life and I constantly given the opportunity to share with people that it was God who gave me the strength to carry on.

“A high percentage of my business was massage and people would comment that I had healing hands. However, I was very aware of my own limitations, I wanted people to receive a complete healing that could only be received through Jesus.

“At 31, I travelled to Jamaica with my then husband, my five-year-old daughter Jodie and my three-year-old son Ross for a holiday. The waitress who served us lunch every day was so filled with the Holy Spirit that the Lord shone from her.”

To her surprise, Kaye found that she was being pulled towards the ministry, something she’d never thought of before.

“When I realised that God was calling me to ministry, I couldn’t understand how I could answer the call. I believed there was no way I was capable of going to university to study theology,” she says.

Curious, she did a little investigation into what she was feeling.

“At a vocations conference, I was told what I would need to do to train for the Ministry of Word and Sacrament and I had a meltdown – but God had the Rev Margaret Shuttleworth in place ready to share her story. Margaret believed that she was not clever enough to answer God’s call and six months into her studies she received a diagnosis of dyslexia. There were 80 people in the group that Margaret spoke to, but she looked directly at me, in fact she pointed at me. The following day I phoned Glasgow University to ask what I needed to do to be accepted to study a BD in ministry and divinity.”

To her surprise – and terror – she was accepted on to an access course.

“I was like a rabbit in headlights, when I began the course at Glasgow University. Halfway through it, I, too, was diagnosed with dyslexia. I realised through this that God was helping me get the extra help I needed so I could do it. It gives me a little extra time to complete my exams and a room to myself to help me concentrate. A proof reader looks over my work. I still find the research very tough, but now I know why. I was left in no doubt that in my weakness God is strong for me!” To get into the divinity course, Kaye needed four B grades.

“I came straight out of the exam and spoke to God,” she says.

“I said that the marker is going to read what I have written and think it’s a lot of rubbish but I asked God to please soften their heart so that they write a big B on it.

“Thanks be to God when the results came in, I had the four Bs. I now walk through Glasgow university pinching myself, I could never do this on my own and I wouldn’t want to because it’s just so wonderful to know that God is working in and through me.”

Kaye says she prepares for each interview by going on retreat beforehand.

“It gives me the space to be close to God and receive his peace for what lies ahead,” she says.

“Last September at my annual review was the only time I have felt my call was being challenged,” she says. “This came through my conviction that the only way I can do any of this is if I am in step with God. If I believe that I am being asked to go in a direction that God is not calling me in, then that seems pointless to me.

“I believe I must stay on the path that Jesus has set before me so that I can be equipped for the ministry that he has prepared for me to do in his name.”

In her first year she didn’t have a placement, which disappointed her at first until she realised she now had extra time to do her course work. In her second year she was sent to Carluke.

“My first placement was at Kirkton Church in Carluke. I could see God’s hand in this as it was vital that was in an encouraging and loving space to be given the chance to flourish because I was beyond nervous. She says the first time she tried to preach no sound came out because her throat was so dry!

“The congregation however, was warm and welcoming and encouraged me throughout my time with them.

“Last summer God started to prepare me to go to Zambia. At candidate’s conference we were told that the only churches that were growing in the UK were the Black and Pentecostal churches. I remember wondering ‘why doesn’t the Church send us to see what they are doing?’ but I was only thinking of Glasgow. I should have realised that God’s plans are always greater than mine.”

Throughout the summer she found she was drawn to read biographies of those who were serving in refugee camps and finding ways to show Jesus’s love to the poor, the oppressed, the hungry and the sick.

“I wanted to see for my own eyes why the church in Africa is growing to the extent that the huge building projects cannot keep up with the growth. I wanted to experience the African style of worship that is led by the Holy Spirit and embraces freedom and life.

“I believe I must stay on the path that Jesus has set before me so that I can be equipped for the ministry that he has prepared for me to do in his name.

“It was no accident that the Rev Iain Cunningham was made my supervisor. Iain had just finished as World Mission Convenor. He offered to phone Jenny at the Church’s World Mission Council to ask if I could go to Africa. Jenny came back to me to say Zambia would be likely. It was God’s will that I was to go to Zambia and everything fell into place.

“The time I spent in Zambia has been the most life-giving experience of my life. On arrival I had a peace…I was exactly where God wanted me to be, I felt at home and that I was with family.

“The church in Zambia really knows family! I have never before had as many grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters… you instantly feel loved and as if you belong. I was involved with eight churches in Zambia and each congregation made me part of their family and I wanted to stay with each one, the love of Christ is like a magnet.

“It has the power to draw you close, it is a very powerful force and there is nothing more incredible than that love.

“When I met people, I would receive a hand shake or a hug or a smile and always a greeting. Often, I received a knock at my door from a neighbour to invite me to choir practice, or when I met women on their way to bible study, they would say ‘are you coming with us?’.

“So many people welcomed me into their home to share a meal. The people around me were filled with the Holy Spirit and the love of Christ and it over flowed from them so that others also experienced the Lord.

“Christianity in Zambia is not something that you do for an hour on a Sunday morning; it is a way of life seven days a week.

“As you check what time it is on your phone, you see you have messages from your sisters in the WCF giving you a morning reading or a prayer or some encouragement. Everyone talks about God all the time. They serve God all the time; praise God all the time.

“And prayer….well it’s the most important thing you can do.

“You don’t put something in your mouth without saying thank you to God; you don’t set off on a journey without asking for traveling mercies; you don’t expect to be healed unless you ask God for healing. “People worship and sing all the time…… I shall never forget the singing – it comes from their bellies; they don’t hold back they give everything they have to the Lord. “One of my special memories was out doing visitations with the Women’s Christian Fellowship. We were singing at the top of our voices as we walked through the compounds. We would sing our way into homes where people were grieving or suffering terrible illnesses or where old people were trying to understand how they would be able to feed the nine tiny children whose parents had died.

“It was such a privilege to pray with people with such amazing faith,” she says, though she realises that a lot of what she experienced would be hard to translate to a congregation who love their church just the way it is and don’t want any change.

“Many of our congregations expect people to come to Christ as long as they fit in with the way we have always worshipped. Fear of change can keep people in bondage and God wants his children to be set free. I would love to bring about that freedom in our established church. However, I now feel that God may be calling me to pioneer, to go to the people who do not know Jesus but desperately need his healing power in their lives. “My calling is to the Ministry of Word and Sacrament but I feel very much it is also to provide a safe place for the poor in mind, body and spirit to come.

“It’s a place that no-one needs to wear a mask. When someone asks: ‘how’s life?’, people will be able to share when things are bad, with no fear of being judged. This shall be a place where they know they are with family that love them no matter what. No one will need to be lonely as this church shall always be open. Brothers and sisters in Christ will meet to pray seven days a week. There shall be freedom to pray standing, sitting, kneeling or while walking, however the spirit leads.

“People shall be encouraged to talk to God believing He is in the room, not flowery talk but real prayers that come from their hearts that shall sometimes be said with tears and sometimes poured out in response to the c absolute joy of knowing the Father’s love. Everyone shall be encouraged to pray for their brothers and sisters healing.

“Worship shall not be confined to a Sunday between 11 and 12 but shall be a way of life. This family shall meet to eat together sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for lunch, sometimes for dinner but most importantly to feast upon God’s Word.”

Her Zambian experience has touched Kaye in ways she can’t explain, but she knows will be useful in her ministry. “It taught me we must be in communion with God in everything we do. We must have a personal relationship with God where he is welcomed into every aspect of our lives.

“We are all God’s children and we are brothers and sisters united in the love of Christ. When I look at our country, I see so many people that are crying out for the love of Jesus to enter their life, so many people that need to belong. It’s time we encouraged our members to knock on their neighbour’s doors to extend an invitation in the name of our Lord. We have so many lonely people, so many broken families, so many people who need light in their darkness.

“Every time I enter the pulpit, I am worried that I will let God down and those in need down. All I can do is trust that the Holy Spirit shall make my efforts and use them. God’s word has the power to transform lives, it is such an amazing privilege to serve in this way.”

“Her Zambian experience has touched Kaye in ways she can’t explain… It taught me we must be in communion with God in everything we do. We must have a personal relationship with God where he is welcomed into every aspect of our lives.